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Writer's pictureHusain Kapasi

What defines you?

What is man except what he does? I think so. I think man is defined by what he does, even if not on a consistent basis. A person being punctual, and achieving his promises and targets when he does something is definitely looked upon as a responsible and trustworthy person.

While someone who consistently shifts in his opinions and is unpredictable in his outputs and actions is not looked upon as a reliable person.

It’s definitely not the case that man is what he thinks, because in that case everyone would be a murderer, a convicted felon with a roster of the most heinous crimes, everyone butchering fellow men and doing unspeakable acts with any living being, including animals.

As I travel along the highways, writing this blogpost as a means to provide my hyperactive and easily distracted and jittery mind. I can’t help but wonder what will become of me in the future. Will life be kind to me? As I give myself into life’s hands blindfolded, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a mistake to do so. As many of you might have at one point thought so too, thinking about the future is a catapult into “existential crises”- land.

Let’s talk about anxiety. What does it feel like to have it?

It feels exactly like how a child feels when his parents wrap floaters around his arm, and throw him in the deep end of the pool. Panic. Heart racing at 150, unable to think clear. Mind races by thinking of all possible outcomes and scenarios how it could all go wrong. ( It’s strange how the mind only thinks about how it could all go wrong , and not the optimistic scenario on how it could all work out. Panic brings out the pessimist in all of us, it seems.)

So yeah, that’s how anxiety feels like, how do I know what exactly it feels like? Because I’m feeling it right now. And man how I wish for time to run faster and get done with the activity that’s causing it. And the closer I am to the expected activity being a reality, the faster my heartbeat races.

End.

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