Dear reader, I hope you’re willing to go on a cliché topic rambling with me today. The L word. It’s all about the L word.
We’re scared of this 4 lettered word. Love. It’s the one thing we’d like to be sure of, but are standing between two doorways, confused which side to be on?
“Eeee I hope the big red heart doesn’t catch up to me”, is what we’ve all thought after being ‘sorta’ attracted to someone, yet unsure of really pursuing the feelings because “maybe it’s not this one”
But what if, there is no “the one”? What if we’ve gotta “build-a-bear” our perfect story the way we like it? Sigh it just seems too exhausting to get over doing it all again, getting to know a person, asking them out, being there for them, and putting in efforts, to the point of questioning if it’s even worth it anymore.
After a point of trying, We convince ourselves that “I don’t need to be tied down by a relationship, friendship is all I need”, but a little part of you knows it’s not the same. There’s a different canyon of loneliness that intimacy fills which friendship cannot, we all know this but do not want to admit.
What does love even mean? Does it mean the company of a person you wish to be with after your social battery is down, with whom you can just be with, without needing to talk to or entertain? Does it mean the one person you can open your true self out without judgements , or needing to ever filter yourself in front of them? Or is it the person who’s kinda your best friend, yet a little more? One thing’s for sure, it’s not a certain thing that’s true for everyone. It’s highly unique to each their own. All you wish is to get it, but just can’t muster up the willingness to try again.
Dear reader, I wish I could say something reassuring, a readymade remedy to this issue, but i can’t. I’m going through the same dilema too. To put an effort to love or not to even try, if making a fool out of myself is all even worth it, but to this I can only say yes. I hope I don’t give up on it yet. Why? I don’t have an answer to this yet, all I do is trust a little voice in me that says to not give up yet.
Sincerely,
an idealist Willing to give love one more try.
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