Before you kill me for the title, allow me to explain. The backstory of such a controversial title is I got diagnosed with a few mental ailments, Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) being one of them, (and I promise im trying to ignore reading more about it because im easily influenced by articles I read) And ever since the diagnosis, my family has been extra kind to me. I mean, “the asking every day if I’m alright” type, the “letting my mistakes go unpointed out, unshouted at” kind.
And it feels like I’m on some new high. The kind where earlier things that pissed my family off about me are taken off lightly, what used to be a big deal to them is now not stressed on so much. It’s like, I’ve got a “Make mistakes and slack off Easily” pass to do whatever I want with no consequences to do so. I’ve been Skipping my work and sleeping in more often, I’ve been canceling my plans to do absolutely nothing ; with no one to scold me on doing so because “Husain’s going through something”, and this feels like something evil to take advantage of and although I am Reveling in it, I Also know the disasterous power this is, how it can make me addicted to always take the easy way out, and completely derail my balance of work and play and make my life an unplanned mess.
I know I should stop misusing this power I’ve been given, and I probably will in time. I just hope that time is today, and not few months or years into the future. I really pray to god please save this sinner from being addicted , and disappointing the only people who live to see him happy.
I just, Feel so grateful for my family man. they are so amazing, so beautiful and so loving. Non judgemental and all accepting. they’re seriously the best. I just think im not worth enough to live up to be an Ideal brother , Ideal son, Ideal grandson, Ideal Nephew, to such an amazing group of people im lucky to call my family.
that’s all for today, signing off. yours truly.
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