Following conversation is an hour’s discussion between me; a 21 year old , a 33 year old unmarried man, and a 28 year old married man, both of which choose to be anonymous, so lets name them N, and J.
N: its been a long time since you guys came home, my mom and Jojo and Rani miss you. ( Jojo and Rani are his Persian cats that he adopted a few years ago) .
J: You know, someday I really wish that you find love, and so that I can call you a normal guy, and not an “old cat-lady”. its been 6 years since your last relationship, what’s your love scene like?
N: Happy single, and not looking for a someone.
Me: Same. High Five.
N: really? you too? damn bro. your 21, still young. you sure?
Me: yeah, I figured out early that I’m weird, and a hard person to really be with for someone as a partner.
N: Same. I’m a neatness freak and need things in a particular order, my personality is feminine, so people assume I’m gay and think I’m different. not weird, just different. most people can’t be with me as a life partner.
J: lifes all about compromising though. that’s what relationships are essentially about, compromises. that seems life you’re rigid and unwilling to change.
Me: I agree with N’s point. it’s better to be happy and alone than being married and sad, just because she’s nagging for what she likes but you don’t, and that’s the worst. besides, no relationship can be perfect since everyone is a unique piece of a puzzle, which will not fit together unless one piece breaks. besides, everyone deserves to be happy. I think that’s more important than finding a partner. most of the people marry not out of love, but as society’s pressure and loneliness and insurance against old age. Besides, i see my friends who are 23-24 get married and I feel like sometimes I shut down and can take care myself for days on end. Sometimes I’m moody, angry, sad, anxious and i can imagine the other person would at times be all this too. I can’t take care of myself then, how will I handle taking care of someone else?
N: exactly, and I’m in Marketing, so I know that based on data, more and more people are choosing to be willingly single than to marry. In the future, it’s not a surprise if our population plummets and nature gets better solely because of people who decided to stay single.
J: I think our generation must marry, or how will humanity progress without children? and children need both parents for healthy mental development.
Me: Zinda reh ke bhi kya Ukhaad liya? Every day there’s new suffering, newer and bigger problems. depravity in society and morality. the trash keeps increasing, the wildlife keeps dying over our need for luxury. There is happiness in this world sure, but the suffering is gargantuan in comparison. I feel you’d have to be sadistic to want to bring new life into this world so that your child may have to go through all this suffering all over again from the start. for god’s sake, the baby starts out his life by crying.
I ask anyone I know if they like to be born in this world if allowed to choose, and the people who say no are far more than the ones who said yes. Yet, if you desire to see a baby grow from being a child to an adult, its better to adopt one, give a parentless child love, care and affection, and a better life with you in it. man’s need for his DNA to be passed on is very very impractical and logic-less. even on grounds of spirituality, its far better to increase your karma to give an amazing life to an orphan, religions such as Islam even prefer it.
J: Haan matlab, baat toh sahi hai. to each his own I guess.
Me/N: Yup.
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